I’ve noticed that I have been on a blogging kick lately. Funny because life has been busier than ever yet at the same time posts keep on flowing. I was writing yesterday’s post and just couldn’t stop thinking, man this is exactly what I needed.
I tend to not follow a blogging schedule per say. I have no idea when I will have time to write a post nor do I know what I will be posting until I sit down in the moment. I like it that way. Things just come. Yes, it does create some random rambles but it works for me. Most of the time I write it, go back to it later for the finalized touches. Other times I do it in one swoop.
What still gets me is when I tell people in real life that I blog, they are baffled. Why? Why would you spend more time on the computer spewing your guts to strangers? What could you have possibly to say everyday? Blogging really does not make sense to most. People are still in shock I still do it daily since graduating from college. Lately though I have felt this internal backlash to blogging. I love it yet hate it. Pure black and white, so typical.
But like everything, when times get confusing it all about going back to the basics. Stomach ache… back to plain foods. Sore muscles… simple stretching nightly. Everyone starts their blog and maintains their blog for their own reasons. I thought it would be a good way to let people learn more about me by telling you why I blog.
I blog… to write. Would you have guessed I used to despise writing? I had no confidence in anything I produced. I would always make my mom read it over and over, through drafts and drafts because I was sure it wasn’t good enough. Blogging has given me this writing mojo back. Back to when I used to create pages and pages of imaginary plays with my sister. Back to when I started a novel in fifth grade.
I DON’T blog… for grammar. I tend to not proofread my posts. I know sounds terrible, I should be better about it but I am not. Even in school, proofreading would send me in a hissy fit. I like things to be a bit rattled around here, a bit un-perfect if I can call it that. I bet many of you could call me out on all the grammatical errors I make on a daily basis.
I blog… for therapy. My past makes apparent I am quite familiar with all types of therapy. Since not seeing a therapist for almost two years, I still found I needed that outlet of thoughts. The thing I got most from a therapist but just flat out talking her ear off, getting all those thoughts out of my mind and into the world. In treatment I began to write in journals daily. I filled almost two notebooks in the nine weeks I was there. It helped me to get the confusing rambles in my head out on paper.
I DON’T blog… to put on a face. I am real here. I may say things people don’t like or don’t agree with and I am ok with that. Heck, I would rather people call me out on it too. Criticism is the fondest form of flattery right? I spent way too long attempting to plaster a face on, to say ‘i’m good’ ‘life is great’. Here I don’t feel a need to do that. I can’t even remember I have had a day of butterflies and sunshine.
I blog… for accountability. Recovery is a process. Heck, life is a process. I knew a transition of graduating from college and living on my own for the first time would be rough. Blogging makes me be real, vulnerable and honest when I don’t have that hands on support all the time. I find myself being way more honest and way more real when I blog.
I DON’T blog… to be a guru. I have had my struggle with an ED, six terrible years of it. However, I am not saying I am this perfection of anything especially recovery. I did and still do what works for me. I may not have behaviors but that doesn’t mean those thoughts still don’t enter my mind. I have come a long way, a f-ing long way. But I don’t and will never have all the answers.
I blog… for sanity. I consider myself a pessimist at heart, sad but true. Yet, if you read my blogging I have this huge side of sarcasm and humor. It helps me, like more than you can believe, to include this dose of humor. Plus, if all that crazy stayed in my head I am pretty sure it would explode.
I DON’T blog… to let it consume me. I still am a bit touchy on this scale you could say. I am still working on finding that balance of blogging and living. But lately, I have been reminded that the world won’t end if I don’t comment back, answer a comment, read a blog or write a post. I need to remember that blogging is what I make it.
I blog… for relationships. If you had asked me when I started in May if I would actually make friends through my blog, I would have laughed in your face. I am such an introvert when it comes to meeting new people – so enter blogging. All of a sudden I find these females that I could chat my day away with. I can honestly say DC would be lonely without my friends I have met through blogging, yes I would call them blends but I consider them way more than blogging friends.
I DON’T blog… to compare. I don’t and never will participate in WIAW. I find the whole thing a bit, let’s call it triggering. The amount of bloggers that undereat and over exercise is troubling. However, I need to remember it is not my place to make that known. What I need to be better at is not just leaving a half ass comment because I feel the need to when really I just shouldn’t even be reading that post for sanity sake. Everyone is different. Again, back to the fundamentals – I live for me.
I tend to do this. Go from posts of humor to something a tad more serious. All in a day’s work. Have a great Thursday friends!
Question: Why did you start blogging?