Holy moses. My concentration on a scale of 1 to 100 is probably about a 1.1. No joke. Not eating since Wednesday night at midnight till tomorrow after my test at 3 is brutal. I have never been more emotional. Brain dump, that is all I got team.
- Be jealous. Yes that below is all I have had in the last 24 hours. I have no idea how I will get it down. I am gagging and typing right now trying to gulp half of it down tonight. The other half is saved for the morning. I need moral support guys, I have a long night and morning ahead of me.
- I have trouble making friends. I couldn’t open that jug so in a desperate, over emotional state I knew what I had to do. I knocked on my neighbors door and asked them to please open this child lock seal. Hot guy please help me open this jug of liquid that will make me shit my brains out all night. Wow Alex, new low.
- Emotions were crazy at work. Not only was I slammed today, I mean slammed, but I was also starving. That means I may have hid under my desk and had a little cry mid day. What got into me, no idea, but that cry was so out of the blue. Emotional Alex is a freaking mess.
- I am not sure when the next time I will be blogging is, most likely not till Saturday night.
- Why no blogging? Because rather than resting off this painful experience, I have to set my alarm for 6 am on Saturday morning to head to work at 7 am for mentor training. Save me please. Please.
- Did I mention I can’t wait till Saturday when I will be eating real food again? Can’t wait.
- I actually got really sad news tonight and I think it added to the emotion. The news just doesn’t sit well. The inpatient place I went to in Somerville is closing down… permanently. This place was unlike most treatment places which is why it was so successful for its patients. It was a house for patients over 18, totally voluntary and max had 10 people. It was in a quaint neighborhood in a small old fashion house, so unlike the hospital type settings you normally hear about. This place helped me heal, helped me recover and now it is closing. I just don’t even know what to say.
Sorry I am lame tonight. Things can only go up from here – well after 5 pm tomorrow.
Poor thing! I’m saying a prayer for you right now! Hang in there and know that a bloggy friend in a corner of the internet is thinking about you!
Haha Nicole this made me giggle, so sweet!
Your inpatient centre is closing?! I would be beyond grief with that!! It’s understandable that you’re upset. As for the liquid “diet” — just remember, there is an endpoint. And hopefully it will produce some answers. I wish I could come down and drink some for you!! <3 My thoughts are with you. Let me know if there is ANYTHING that I can do.
You don’t want to drink this stuff, currently drinking it and gagging all the way. Yuck.
Stay strong Alex – you are awesome and can totally do this! I am thinking of you and if you need anything this weekend i.e a hug, company or something from CVS don’t hesitate to call or text me! I wish you the best tomorrow!
Aw so sweet Melissa! I wish I wasn’t working on Saturday because we could hang out. Boo work
I have work too but maybe sunday afternoon? Good luck today!
Oh girl, you’re a trooper… Can I say that without sounding too old? In any case, hang in there for just a little while longer. I know it sucks, but at least there’s an end in sight right? And soon it’ll all be behind you.
Not old sounding at all! I keep telling myself of the end!!
I am so sorry that you can’t eat and have to drink all that solution. I pray your doctors will find something that can help you and bring you relief from your tummy woes. Hang in there!
That is what keeps me going, knowing I could get answers.
Good luck with the test, Alex …you’re almost there
So true, what I keep reminding myself
Good luck with your test today,Alex! Thinking of you. <3
Thanks Kat!
Aw, hope you’re ok! I agree with Amanda.. you’re a trooper! <3
It may be yucky but I hope I get some results from it
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Alex! You’ll get through this!!
Thanks Linz, means a lot.
You know, it’s crazy, I have had this emotional week too. It’s made for a long week to say the least. I hope that your test goes well!! You got this!
That’s horrible about the recovery place! I would be really upset too. :/
you can do it! i have total faith you will make it through this, though i’m sorry about the bad news you got. i know that sometimes it seems like we’re getting too much all at one time, but it’s just a chance to prove how strong you are!! get it girl!
Thanks Molly,I will be hoping for at least some results.
Really sorry to hear about that IP place closing. It’s sad to hear about any treatment center closing but especially one that was so good for you and obviously helped so many others.
Good luck with the colonoscopy. Definitely rest off the procedure and don’t worry so much about blogging! And don’t worry about having to get your neighbor to open the bottle, I would have to do the same thing myself and I’m sure that’s not the weirdest thing that’s ever happened!
It was just so crazy to hear it was closing, broke my heart. I hope it wasn’t the weirdest thing he has had to do for a neighbor!
I just wanted you to know that i was thinking of you — I know there’s not much I can do to help you out, but I wish I could. Completely understandable that you’re emotionally all over the place… I think i’d be curled up in the fetal position if I were you!! Get ‘er done girl! You can do it!!
And hey, asking a hot guy for help is never a bad thing… they like to be “needed” Find more things you need “help” with!
Maybe next time I can ask him to open something more glamorous. You are so sweet Brittany!
Good luck girl! I can’t imagine being literally starved and having to drink that nasty stuff.. You are a trooper. I’ll come be your friend over Thanksgiving!
I hope that everything works out and I know you’ll survive. Best wishes! <3
The stuff is nasty, I hope you never have to do something like this.
I’ve had one of those weeks too…I’ve been waking up in the morning thinking that things couldn’t get any worse and somehow they do…I’m just glad it’s Friday and hopefully next week gets better for you and me both.
I think this week has really tested my positive attitude, can’t wait till another new week.
Ah, #2 … you had me cracking up. That is totally something that would happen to me too. Child locks suck!
I was seriously just so exhausted and tired that the child lock was holding me back!
good luck today thinking of you! sometime we just need a good cry it helps I promise! I hope your next door neighbor is single
Who knows, but after my act of opening that toxic container who know!
good luck!!! hoping everything goes well and you’re able to ingest some solid food STAT! <3 now go talk to your hot neighbor
I will be in heaven when I can get some solid food in me.
Good luck!! I feel so bad that you have to go through this, I can’t even imagine. At least it will all be over soon!
Counting it down, I actually can’t wait till they put me asleep. It will be a lot easier then.
Ugh, that is just a bucket of bad news. Not eating for that long is kind of the most unpleasant sounding thng ever. You’ll get through it – and then everything you eat afterwards will taste even better than normal!
And with the inpatient place being closed, that’s just so sad. Hopefully people in the area that need that service will be able to find another option.
I was told there weren’t many able to go there in the past few months because of an insurance issue they were having. Just so sad, it was a great place and the people there were unbelievable. I hope food just tastes like heaven after.
Good luck girl!! I’ll be thinking of you keep us posted
Thanks Rachel, writing a check in post now.
Big huge hugs to you today hun….
Thanks, I do wish I had a few real hugs in DC.
Hang in there sweet thang! Will say a prayer for you. Keep me posted!
Thank you for that! Appreciate it.
Good luck today!!! Hopefully it will go by sooo quickly and you’ll be home eating real food and feeling good ASAP. I had a colonoscopy a few months ago and it was horrible so feel your pain
It really was a very unpleasant experience.
Oh, girl, I admire you for putting up with all this. I know it had to be done, but man, if a GI doc told me I needed a colonoscopy and then shoved that jug in my face with an order to stop eating, I think I’d give up right then and there. Thoughts and prayers are with you today, chica! I really, truly, sincerely, *other adverbs expressing genuine feelings* hope this gives you answers to your stomach woes.
Bethany you are adorable, oh don’t get me wrong I wanted to do that. I seriously gagged my way through that stuff.
Thinking of you!! You will get through this!
The other end is beautiful! haha
Good luck with everything sweetie! It will be over before you know it! Thinking of your today:)
Thanks Lisa, I actually thought of you tonight when I bought my first kombucha squash of the season. I have never had it before. So good. I’m converted.
bleugh I am sorry I am late on the sorries. But you’ve got this! It’ll be over before you know it!