I am in a lot of places right now, both mentally and physically (hello… crazy work schedule). The downpour rain doesn’t help either. You think I would learn to carry an umbrella or raincoat. No such luck. Enter wet dog status.
Lately, I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself. In all aspects of my life. I am not sure why – I thought being out of school would ease that ‘type A’ student profile I clung to for so long. I tend to forget I don’t need to sweat the small things, I don’t need to solve everything in one swoop.I tend to be really hard on myself and social media isn’t helping. In a perfect world, I would realize I don’t need to feel guilty for eating, working or living the way I do. Yet, instead I am dragging myself down with this guilt. Why can’t I realize that what I do now is what I SHOULD be doing for my own health? Why can’t I accept the fact that this is me, this is how I roll, this is how I write? 
I have a wonderful mom, you all know by the way I talk about her. She sent me a package with not only toilet bowl cleaners (oh goodness) but articles she thought I should read. She does this a lot but every time they hit home.
One was called, “Get Lucky”. It is all about luck and that fact that it is a state of mind, a way of thinking that enhances the good opportunities that come your way. It goes on to explain how to seize the day, smile and schmooze, be resilient and persistent and trust your gut. Ironic I was talking about how unlucky I am, right? I tend to not create good attitudes within myself. I usually let the moment of emotions take over and get caught up in the wave of negativity. This is such a learning lesson for me but a practice I know I should follow. Creating my own luck – what a novel idea.
The second was an interview with Kerry Cronin about how she teaches students the lost art of dating. Wouldn’t you love to be in her class with this topic? I was so drawn into the article because I do consider myself a little old fashion when it comes to the dating scene, probably because I haven’t been on one in who knows how long. It talks about how dating is about courage but is being seen as about sex, the hook up culture and society scripts. This is so true and probably why I feel so out of the scene. I am so unaware of those dating scripts so I feel less than confident when it comes to trying to partake in it. She even ends with saying career has been the biggest deterrent of the dating scene lately. People have become so caught up in finding their career path that they push relationships to the side. I wish I could meet this woman.
The last article was probably my favorite yet the hardest to implement in my life. It is called “Seek: Go with the Flow”, an article that shows how relaxing, switching gears and adjusting is so darn hard for the majority of us. The idea of bending a little, loosening my grip or letting go honestly freaks the heck out of me. Yet, I know this overwhelming pressure I put on myself daily would be a lot less intense if I practiced these ideas.
So for me, this means being ok with being me. In whatever form it may come out that day.
- Being ok with the fact I ruin my sleep by keeping my phone next to me on my pillow at night.
- Being ok with the fact I have yet to do any sort of strength training since May.
- Being ok with the fact I have both slow and fast runs.
- Being ok with the fact it is still hard for me to look at pictures of myself and don’t even ask about how I rarely look in mirrors.
- Being ok with the fact I probably drink way too much coffee and the only cooking in my apartment has been boiling eggs and roasting vegetables.
- Being ok with the fact my mom is my best friend and understands me more than anyone else.
- Being ok with the fact I am not making money despite spending 10+ hours a day at work.
- Being ok with the fact that reality tv helps me unwind and takes my mind away from the day.
- Being ok with the fact I get homesick, a lot, because adjusting to DC is taking a bit longer than I had hoped.
Today, has been kind of a stressful ‘wash’ for me. We all need a little cleaning sometimes.
Questions: What do you lose sight of under pressure? What is your take on luck?
You should definitely be ok with the fact that your mom is your best friend…my mom’s mine! It’s definitely hard being far away from them, isn’t it?
it is really is and I can’t understand why I am so freaking homesick lately, it kills me!
Ok, first of all let me tell you how much this post reakly hit home for me! Not, only because I have been too stressed about stupid little things lately, but also, because It reminded me to slow done, snd focus on myself for awhile. I have been struggling in lots of ways lately, and know that I need to let go some especially whrn it comes to my body and my health.
Anyway, thsnk you for this post! I needed to read it! <3
Aw I am glad you got all those reminders from my post. it is tough for me to remember this all as well, I need to write it out!
Sorry about the stress! I’ve been there and its definitely hard when you are in that place, but your very lucky to have your mom as a support system!
My mom is my best friend too…no shame.
Reality TV always helps me as well. Ha ha. It makes me feel better about my life;)
Agreed about moms and reality tv, it really does keep me grounded in being me.
i tend to loose sight of my nutritional goals when i am surrounded by others. i feel guilty if i don’t accept food from people even if i’d rather not have it. it’s something i’ve been working on…
It is something to work on but at least you acknowledge it, that is the first step.
I think it’s great that your Mum is your best friend! My Mum is mine too! Also, reality tv is freaking awesome. Total guilty pleasure of mine. And it is ok to be homesick, I still get it and I’ve been away from home for nearly two years now!
Aw, you are always so reassuring Bec and I really thank you for that.
My dad sends me articles on occasion and I love when he does. Little things that are thoughtful! I love this post, I need to let go of some shit too!
I think we all do, but as I said easier said than done. Parents are the best with packages!
I totally think luck is something you make! one thing cause another to happen and sometimes it happens to be the right place and time. I hope you can find some ways to let go and relax…you don’t deserve a lot of stress at this age..i’ve been stressed lately too with super long days and like you said feeling like you’re not making any money despite the long hours because it flies out the door with bills (um boo to getting old). but take joy in the little things- your runs are your me time and let yourself loose! xoxo
I think I am spending too much time thinking about what I am not doing or making rather than what I am doing. It is so a mind frame moment.
I think it’s super cute your mum sends you packages. I wish I got more packages like that in the mail. As for luck agreed … you are the holder of your future. Yeah sometimes things happen that you never wanted to happen but you can do something to fix it. At least that’s what I believe.
I had really never heard luck described that way but loved it immediately when I read that.
I love how you got so much out of the articles — obviously your Mom’s intention (I love how smart Moms are when it comes to things like that).
It’s easy to say “just stop stressing and putting pressure on yourself and feeling guilty about who you are” — much less simple to accomplish. Sometimes life just freaking sucks. But it’s life as we know it, and unfortunately we’re not able to call a time out because we’re feeling overwhelmed. No one says you have to get it all right, no one says you have to get any of it right. Heck, who determines what right is anyway? Live your life the way YOU WANT to live it. Make your own dreams come true. You’re more than capable.
I know, my mom seriously nailed it this time. i think all the points are so much easier said than done. I need to embrace the moment but even that is so tough.
Your mom is so sweet sending you all those articles! Mine is my best friend as well,no doubt. When I move out someday,I guess she will be the one I’ll miss the most.
Moms really are the best and she gets me more than anyone else.
Awww, hang in there! Sending hugs!
Thanks Nicole, always appreciated.
I think that as you continue to become more comfortable with your new place/stage in life and your surroundings, it will be easier to stress less and feel happier with who you are
Change is hard and you’ve made a big one!When I get over-anxious and overwhelmed, I tend to lose sight of everything that I am grateful for, because I just become stuck in the negativity. Sometimes I force myself to write down things that are wonderful in my life so it’s right there in black & white! My mom is my best friend too – I couldn’t get through life without her. Hang in there Alex – one step at a time!!
Yes, you pretty much described me to the t. When I am overwhelmed it is like my world is closing in and I get more anxious. Got to take a step back and cherish the small things.
I went through this a lot when I was in college and the first year or two out.. It’s really hard adjusting to being an “adult”. There is no manual telling you what to do.. but you just learn by living it.. and That is what I have to tell myself when I have this baby and I am terrified! You can do it..
And I know that this will make you a stronger person in the end.
Wow thank you for that advice, I think I need to realize that I am not the only one who has ever gone through this or dealt with things like this. I really appreciate you relating to this.
I needed this today! I am having a bad day mentally and I almost emailed you because this morning I was at the gym and was like who will understand and you were the person that came to mind! I need to be ok with the fact that I ate more than I wanted to/should last night, I feel guilty and uncomfortable but I need to get over it and move on!. Mom’s are the best! and don’t worry us social work type will never make money but at least we are making differences in ppls lives..right!?
are we the same person? seriously! I love that you address that you can be ok with little slip ups, heck you don’t want to know I ate spoonfuls of icing last night. It happens, but when I compare myself to the twitter or blog sphere I wonder why I can’t eat perfectly like they do. Not a great mentality to have at all, that is why finding my supports that are actual (i hate saying this) normal people really helps me. Reach out whenever you want!
Sorry about everything that is going on! But your mom is the best. That is so sweet! I hope those articles work!
I sleep with my phone on my pillow too…probably not the best habit but I am okay with it!
Yep, I know it is terrible for me but I just have that habit of checking it throughout the night.
Pingback: WIAW — It’s Not About the Food
Nice thoughts on this one! I find that I’m not a naturally positive or optimistic person and it is something that I am constantly working on. I’ve realized that my outlook is basically a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I have a positive and optimistic outlook, I will find the silver linings or the positive aspects in things and it will seem as though I have “good luck” or that things are going “well”. Ditto for having a negative or pessimistic attitude. I find that my outlook changes depending on the time of month. seriously!!!!
I am the same way, I am def not that optimistic person when it comes to things. I try my hardest to realize this about myself but I do get dragged down in the small stuff sometimes.
THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOUR BLOG. I will continue to read your posts each and every day because you are just so DANG honest and I value it 110%. You are such an awesome dose of reality for me. I tend to put a crap load of pressure on myself too. Jeez, I needed this. xo.
Um, you made my day with this comment. I know the pressure i put on myself is crazy. So much more than I or really anyone else needs.
I love the way you write. This post really spoke to me. These are all lessons I could benefit from too.
Wow, that is so nice of you to say, thanks Austin
I couldn’t agree more with the above comment in regards to your honesty day in and day out. You aren’t someone to hold back how you feel, you embrace your thoughts with all of us. I find that to be so amazing & inspirational Alex. You should be okay with the fact that so many of us read your blog because of YOU, and what you have to say. Smile and know that you do make a difference in peoples lives rather you see it or not <3
Aw JEssie, I sure have missed you. Hope you are settling in nicely to home.
Love this post. DC is definitely a stressful city – everyone seems to just work non-stop (POURING rain does not help either! grr).
Hope your Wednesday is a little better
DC is just so darn expensive! I like the non stop feel but man I need some money.
I hope you are having a better day today friend! My mom is my bestie too
They always have a way of putting things in perspective.
the sun today totally helps!
Love that your mom sent you such a perfect package! Those articles sound great– esp the one about creating your own luck. I need to be reminded of that sometimes
I am so grateful she did, I was really missing her!
My dad always used to tell me not to sweat the small stuff! It is such a simple thing to say, but so hard to live by. It is hard not to compare yourself to others with the society we live in either. I struggle with it and I know everyone else does. I love your posts and what you are “being okay with”. You have such great insight and really think about what you are feeling. Thanks for sharing, it really is very thought provoking and I know many people like myself can relate.
What great advice, I always try and remember that I shouldn’t freak out about the smaller things. It is just so hard sometimes.
Pingback: How do you counteract negative thoughts?
I always try to tell myself to not sweat the small stuff, but it’s sometimes easier said than done
I do believe, however, that a positive attitude can attract positivity to life!
So true, a positive attitude really does wonders.
When my son gets fussy or upset I sing to him “we’re okay, yes we are” over and over and over again softly. It helps us both I think. I guess what I’m saying is pick your mantra for the day and hope no one laughs at you for singing to yourself
I will be singing that down the street for sure!
<333 Alex I love that you are repeating this "it's OK" mantra. That is something I find myself needing to do a lot too as you well know. Your mom seriously is such a treasure! I'm so glad you have her. And I know you're glad too. My mom has been my rock in my battle of recovery! There are others out there going through these anxieties totally alone so just keep reaching out to your support system, family and blog friends alike, because they want to help you and reaching out to them can also serve as a reminder to us of how lucky we are!
You are so right. I am glad to hear you have the same sort of relationship with your mom. That really is a treasure.