You know those posts that just don’t come out right, that could go on for hours, that are written and rewritten thousands of times? Yep, this is one of those.
I told you that in my daily life I set ‘intentions’ which is how I approached this post. My intention is NOT to judge, criticize or call out. Actually, this is more a self reflection, what I need to work on. Even more, it is meant to be relatable because I know feeling alone can be, well, lonely.
What spurred on this train of thought? One, everyone is going back to school. It is so strange that I am not getting ready to re-enter dorm life, reunite with friends and get ready for classes. Honestly, I am happy about this. Don’t get me wrong, I did love college (well parts) but there are certainly things I will not be missing. I am reminded this as I see tweets or messages or posts about how they are getting their body ready, their diet ready for school. How they need to improve physically to be ready for school. Yuck, that I do not miss. The idea that you are not good enough to just go back, you have to be different (in reality all the same as others) as you re-enter.
Second, the blog world has been chirping with lots of different opinions. No need to name them all but I think a lot of it is just questioning, what is a healthy living blogger? If you haven’t, read One Fit Foodie’s post. There have been others either justifying, denying or questioning what truly is healthy living. Heck, I could not define that even if I tried aka why I struggle to see a niche for myself in the blog world.
And there we are. Back to the idea of the ‘in’ crowd. From tenth grade to college I struggled. I went from being unique, independent and different in middle school to all of a sudden hating those labels. I wish I could paint a picture for you. In middle school, I had the best friends ever. We were a group of girl and guys that wore converse when nobody did, wore band t shirts with bands no one had heard of, loved drama and knew the words to every musical, started a day where we wore crazy outfits to prove that even though people made fun of us, we were confident in who we were. Gosh, I loved those years. Then came high school. All of a sudden I joined a new group of friends purely out of sports interest. Because of sports, I no longer had time for drama and had to mold to the athletic friends group I made. Now, I am not saying I hated those friends. They were great girls and guys BUT it wasn’t me. The worst part was, I knew it. I struggled to gain my confidence in all parts of my life, I wasn’t a good enough runner, dresser, eater or socializer. I didn’t have guys coming after me, I didn’t eat healthy, I didn’t shop at JCrew and sure as heck did not know how to be a girlie girl. 
College it only got worse. I could not fit in, I could not find a friend group to belong in. I had that expectation that in college I would find that group of friends I would spend the rest of my life with. I did not. Not even close. I tried to adapt to the social scene and my lack of drinking, clothing style and flirting kept me far away. I was lucky to find the Resident Adviser crew or else college would have been unbearable. I would go back in a heartbeat to those people and only for them.
I am not sure why my mindset shifted to having to be in the ‘in’ crowd. I don’t know why I wanted to be one of them so badly I was willing to risk my healthy, lose the Alex I loved and shatter my confidence. I don’t think I will ever know. I spent those years comparing what I did, ate, wore and WAS to the other females. Comparing is my weak point and my nemesis. I still constantly struggle with it. I have developed skills and mantras to keep me grounded, but time and time again it knocks me down.
So where I am going here? Lately, I have been unsubscribing from some of my normal blog reads, even used to be favorite blog reads, even big name blog reads. I realized I was getting so sucked in to the lastest crazes, not that I would do them but that I would feel bad and discouraged that I can’t do them or wasn’t doing them. This is where I ask for your forgiveness, but I am sick of hearing about how I should eat clean, should eat Paleo, should try this new workout (because what I am doing does nothing for me), how my body should look. I get enough of that in the social media. I didn’t realize that daily I was opening my computer to a world of comparison that I think was taking a larger toll than I believed. All of a sudden I saw eating changing, cutting out whole food groups, trying this cleaner way of eating. Eek, I am the girl who eats sugar with a spoon basically and whip cream right in the mouth. I was beating myself up mentally. BUT YOU SEE this was my work – people can do what they want, healthy or not, I can’t live my life comparing to all those around me. A sad existence to say the least. And still I see myself wondering if I could eat like them. I have not seen or met one blogger that eats like me. Hold up – I’m the only Alex here. I eat to fuel my body, to avoid my gluten allergy and satisfy my cravings. Shouldn’t that be good enough?
Even worse, I have actually lost my words in some of the blogs I used to read. Even the blogs I read daily I honestly don’t know what to say when they talk about weight, food or diets. I realized I was commenting on food I actually thought looked quite disgusting and was something I would never try. Or I was commenting on a lifestyle I knew was unhealthy, under eating, or restricting. I see so little food and I am baffled that they eat that little, work out that much – but worse what I ask is why do I eat so much (yes, I know rarely do they actually put everything they eat but really)? Ah! Why Alex why?
Ah, the ‘in’ crowd. I wanted so badly to be in this blog community. I still really do. But I need to have limits. I honestly feel inadequate in this community. I don’t post the way they do, I don’t take good pictures, I don’t have great experiences, I just blog. You know what, there is nothing wrong with that though. People will read if they want and hate if they don’t. I will CONTINUE EACH DAY to reach out to those blogs I love. I will try my hardest to connect with ones I want to and if I get no return so be it.
My intention comes back to taking care of you. Healthy and happiness for me, for the first time, go hand in hand. I blog because I love it. I have some amazing readers, lurkers and bloggers out there. One day I will meet them in person. I hope someone, everyone, one person got something from this. Be who you are and understand taking care of yourself is the healthiest thing you could do. Go ahead, unsubscribe from those that trigger you… it is freeing. Those who are unhealthy can preach they are healthy, defend their health… I promise you, they will find the restriction that they have put on their life.
You know what I will continue to do? I will continue to
- Blog like Alex, pretending I am all cool and stuff. You know how I do.
- Put sugar free jelly beans in the freezer because they taste so much better that way (by the way, sugar free actually taste sweetener, I’m in love)
- Eat whip cream on a spoon when I can.
- Be more conscious about the comments I make on blogs, asking is this really what I want to say? No need to put on a face there.
- Be grateful for me, I may not love it yet, I may not be super confident yet, but I am grateful for all my little quirks.
There you go team, what I had to say. A post that has been in the making for a while for sure.
Questions: Do you feel pressure in the blog world? How do you deal with the blog lifestyles?
Thank you for writing this post, it was very enlightening. It made me take a step back and think about if some of the blogs I read are truly healthy for me to be reading. Some are definitely not.
I tried the whole What I Ate Wednesday thing, but that just didn’t work for me. I felt pressured to do it because almost every blog I read did it, but it just made me feel so self conscious about how/what I was eating that I stopped.
Aw I am glad you got that from my post. That is exactly what I wanted to get across, that I didn’t even realize what I was doing to myself. Not healthy and not happy. Keep rocking you girl!
Don’t compare! Don’t despair!
I think you’re doing something great. If reading a blog isn’t serving you, DON’T. There is a LONG list of blogs that I refuse to read and even if I used to comment every day, beating myself up worrying that someone will be mad if I don’t comment is a waste of energy! I caught myself comparing to a couple of very popular blogs and then at one point in my recovery I realized that I was getting sucked into a lot of blogs that sort of held me back. I think there’s a time and a place and a million blogs. Filling your head with things that bring you down is a waste of time–find things that bring you closer to where you want to be and focus on those. Leave the others behind.
Props to you for realizing this. On a related note, I think judging yourself when you blog makes for a half-hearted blog and that comes through in posts. You are an authentic writer and I commend you for that. Lately I’ve been wondering WHAT my blog is all about. Can I post about food and changing my diet if I have readers who are looking to me as a recovery role model? Do I need to start a new blog for that? Won’t people judge me?
The simple answer is this: life’s too short to worry about what other people think. Do what feels right to you and you’ll end up where you need to be! That goes for both issues
…
<3
Oh wow Cheryl, this made me smile. What a way to end a night, such an uplifting note. I agree, I think we all search for those labels but they are what hold us back. Why define our blog when we do it for just the fact it is writing. I am going to hopefully practice more mindful reading for sure.
Brava, well said! I think every blogging community has its trials and tribulations, and I know I have slipped a little bit away from the book blogging community to find comfort in the isolation of blogging in a new genre, which has been really rewarding for me. However, like you, it’s been more of an opportunity to be the healthiest me I can be, without the stress of popularity or the right diets, or the right this or that or blah blah blah… it’s all about enjoying what you like to do and having fun with it. Bloggers who are respectful and read/comment on other blogs that fit their personality retain that genuine persona and it’s a rare thing in the online world. Stay true to who you are. And by the way, I didn’t know that about sugar-free jelly beans… will have to get some and thrown them in the freezer
I am telling you right now, that and gummy bears in the freezer. You will adore. Thank you so much for writing all this, I think I too have evolved in just a short three month time.
“This is where I ask for your forgiveness, but I am sick of hearing about how I should eat clean, should eat Paleo, should try this new workout (because what I am doing does nothing for me), how my body should look.” <– You hit the nail on the head here, Alex. I LOVED this post. It is so heartfelt and TRUE. I am with you–I don't belong to a 'niche.' Sure people could SAY that I do, but I don't think that I do. I, too, felt like sometimes I would comment on a blog that I just felt saddened for. Whether there was some restrictive eating going on or some new 'diet' being shoved down my throat, if I don't get a clear picture I won't comment anymore. Personally, I adore your honesty and this blog. You're awesome Alex! You do a good job of keeping it real.
Aw Britt I am glad that is what you got from this. I do love reading your blog because you are true to your body and address more than just the next fad. Keep it real girl!
GOOD FOR YOU! I smiled bigger and bigger with every sentence I read. PS. I quit my job today
Soooo, that means we need to plan a weekend meet-up. Kay? Kay.
NO WAYYYYYY I am so freaking proud of you. Gasp, email in the works.
I did this awhile ago. I used to follow all these big blogs and I found they only left me depressed and triggered into indulging in negative behavior. Frankly, you need to do what’s best for you, damn the in-crowd! I love how you blog and your honesty and that’s what’s important. You are honest to yourself.
And ps, frozen jelly beans sound amazing!
DO IT, also frozen gummy bears. Whoa, next level of amazingness. I am realizing that what I was reading was not helping me- why read then? Thank you for the encouragement lovely!
This is so, so wonderful. As a relatively new blogger, I feel that pressure a lot too. I often find myself thinking, “should I be doing that?” when I see some of my favorite bloggers jumping on various opportunities or touting new ideas–whether they be about fitness, food, or life in general! It’s so easy to want to be just like those you look up to…but you are so right to say that it is much better to celebrate yourself & who you really are instead of trying to be like others! I try to remember that when I feel like I’m losing my own voice in a sea of big-name bloggers!
Don’t lose your voice! I know as a new blogger myself, I thought that I would be nothing without a big name. Slowly I am learning that a big name does nothing for me. It is about being me and letting people find what they want in it.
Honestly, can I just say that’s its blogs like yours that get me excited about the blogging community. Healthy living blogs are great (although I totally get the comparison thing) but I have been on the look out for blogs that are more about real life, and all aspects of it. And that’s why I started following you. You are real and you don’t just post pictures of food or talk about running. You talk about your struggles and your dreams! You fit in perfectly to the blog world, because you have a voice!
So sweet of you! I am glad that is what you see because that is honestly why I blog. I want to document the craziness of life, with all its highs and lows. Thanks Susanna!
agree, agree, agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am just writing a post on this..great minds, eh??? comparison sucks and i feel like in the blog world that goes on a lot. however- being genuine is what its all about. keeps people reading and helps others connect with you cause chances are they feel the same as you and can relate. i think you do a fabulous job of being yourself!
Aw man Katie, you make me smile. You are a blogger that i Look to for that dose of reality, because I see you actually living a life of balance and happiness. Now I just need to kidnap you so you will come play with me in DC!
This was definitely enlightening, Alex!
While I’ve been loving the blogging community, it’s hard not to compare yourself to others. I see all the Paleo and the no-sugar crazes and it makes me question how I define healthy living – which includes plenty of carbs and a daily dose of chocolate (can never say no to a cupcake). But, that is how I like to eat so that is how I’m going to continue to do so.
I read onefitfoodie’s post and it did strike a cord with me – some things I see in my daily blog reads are NOT healthy. Like, I-don’t-understand-why-you-haven’t-collapsed-yet sort of thing.
I love your blog because you’re so much more real than a lot of what I see in daily blog reading. You talk about your life, your dreams and your struggles without sugarcoating anything – it’s refreshing. be proud of your little quirks – they’re awesome.
I couldn’t agree more with why haven’t you collapsed thing. I just don’t understand reading some but I caught myself actually judging myself for it. Yuck. I am glad you find a breathe of fresh air in my blog, I see that in yours too. thank for all the kind words.
Great post Alex I am happy for you(: I’m cutting mine down too! I hope I can stay on your list to read (: ( my post are short anyway)
haha of course! Anyone who is true to fueling their body and happiness (like you are doing a wonderful job of) is someone that I can use as inspiration.
good !(: You will stay on my list too!:)
Amen. Love love love this post. We are so alike. In middle school though I didn’t quite fit in. Loved high school where I had a lot of different groups of friends. And in college wondered why I tried so hard to be someone I’m not. I actually have this post partly written and was going to post it next week when my college started … I actually sat in front of my Google Reader deleting blogs and updating my bloggin’ lovin’ tab that I don’t read anymore because it’s so not me. I growing up and realizing that what I read and what I thought was suppose to be right might not be right for me. That a lot of the big name bloggers are trying to conform to the normal and get big bucks. They kind of lost the content in their blog. I hope you never change. Love what I’m reading. And even if you do have a few foodie reviews, so what. Your content is still there. YOU are still there. Love yah girlie! Thanks for a wonderful post which is going to beat mine up when I post mine next week. haha
I am so glad you can relate, I am like you with the blog tabs. I have ones now that I have unsubscribed to that I never thought I would. You just have to be true to what is helping you in the long run.
True true. I totally agree. I feel kinda bad for deleting them but I don’t want to put something on my blog that I don’t believe in or do .. like I don’t want to lie. haha
Haha, I know it is a tough balance for sure.
Alex,you are so brave for writing this. Thank you so muh fo doing so,seriously,because I so know where you’re coming from.
Reading all those blogs where people eat salads for lunch,lean protein and steamed veggetables for dinner and fuit with FAT FREE greek yogurt for breakfast makes me feel like shit,to be honest. More than only one time each day I ask myself “why can’t I eat like that?” I feel so guilty because eating only fruit and vegetables and protein isn’t enough for me; I NEED my carbs as well as my treats,so coan it really be so bad?
I also know no blogger who eats like me; I mean,I sometimes eat pasta for breakfast and chips and dips for dinner… Not to mention the cool whip right into the mouth,haha,it’s just too good!
You know,I am sick and tired of hearing about the necessity to “eat clean”,go “paleo” or whatever… It doesn’t work for me,I am well aware of that,but still,I try to fit into that mold and that needs to stop. I need to accept I am who I am,and that’s Kat who loves sweets and carbs and full fat cheese.
Period.
Beautiful kat, and I hope you remember all of that. Recovery is a tough time to start so when you are exposed to these extremes of eating, it is not always the best. I hope you continue to embrace what your body wants, heck my body wants whipped cream a lot. So I eat it. Done.
Yes I feel this way too. Do I post enough? Am I boring? Is my header ok? Do I train enough? Am I eating too much junk? Do people really not eat chocolate and candy most days? Ha the list goes on! But I blog because I enjoy it. It is a nice outlet from my daily life. And if no one likes it or reads it Oh Well! That said there are days I think why bother, I will never get as big as her.
I love your blog and I read it not for the healthy living side but because you have a big personality. You are honest and authentic. You are willing to share and open up on issues that many of us have faced but are too afraid to admit. So please keep being you and eating sugar from the jar! That is what life is about!
Let’s just say the fact that you said I have a big personality just freaking made my day, that is one of the best compliments I have recieved. You are so amazing for that. I think we all have those questions in our head when we post, I know I do! It is tough to just let that go when you can’t see the face behind the comment. Keep blogging like you do, cause I love it!
Thanks!
AMEN! A lot of people have a very different version of what it means to be “healthy.” To me, being healthy is a balance of a lot of things. I know certain “diets” work for some people, but for me it is all about balance. I cannot and will not eliminate any food groups, and I’m ok with that. I thoroughly enjoy my food. I don’t count calories, protein, or anything else. I need (probably too many) spoonfuls of nut butter out of the jar… multiple times a day. I have found it hard in the blogging world to not get sucked into what everyone else is doing or think geeez that’s all they’re eating, but hte truth of the matter is everyone is different. And frankly I like me for me and what I’m doing is working for me. I’m not string bean thin, but I am strong and I have muscles that allow me to push through tough workouts and I’m damn proud of it!
Linz, this is why I love reading your blog. I adore your approach to life – a balance of everything, family fun and food. That is inspiring and something I hope new bloggers look to.
Great post! Keep it real.
I read Naomi’s post yesterday and wrote a comment but it didn’t end up posting (technical glitch).
When I started my blog I thought I’d be writing about food, posting recipes, etc. I am way less interested in that than I am just writing about life.
I just don’t have the energy or interest in the food fads – sticking to whole, real food will serve best in the long run!
Have a great day.
aw man, stinks it didn’t post. I can understand that, when I started my blog I had no idea what I would be writing each day. Who knew that food and fitness would be in the background.
Amen to this! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t post my food most of the time because I’m afraid of being judged because it’s not healthy or too processed. Who cares? I workout to my comfort level so that I can eat things like that. It’s all about moderation and I have no intention of cutting those things out, but I guess I thought other people would judge? This post makes me happy! Let’s just write what we want and not worry about it
Couldn’t agree more, I just feel no need to share to the world the processed foods or non processed foods that pass through my mouth. I eat what I want and that is something I have not always been able to do. No need to have others comment on it.
Great post Alex! It is hard not to compare yourself to others sometimes. I try to write a blog that I would want to read. I do my best to remain upbeat and personal (I may not always be feeling up beat and sometimes people will see that but I try to stay away from writing that way). When I first started blogging I thought that I had to blog a certain way, that people would only be interested if I posted what I ate everyday or what my workout is. But this is MY blog and not anyone elses so I write what I want to write post what I want to post and people will either read it or they wont but that is their decision. So this is your blog and you should do what you want
Aw thanks Kaitlin, I am glad i have finally realized that. I know I have blogs that I do look to for daily inspiration, but then others that just tear me down.
I don’t feel pressure in the blog world, mostly because ya’ll aren’t physically around me. I get inspired by blogs, and sometimes I read something that I think is completely nuts. But then I go on living my physical life where I am and I don’t think about it. I understand wanting to fit in though. I went through that phase in middle school. I was known as the smart nerdy type in elementary school that played by all the rules. So when I went to junior high and early high school, I wanted so bad to be Ms. Popular barbie doll. I couldn’t get in with that group because they were so exclusive so I ended up just being kind of the class rebel–always getting detention. People seemed to think I was cool then, except the fights with my parents were hell. Wasn’t till 10th grade when I dropped the rebel phase and just decided to be who I really was–the athletic swimmer girl, who had a little bit of a wild side but was also smart. Fitting in is rarely worth the effort
I think I am slowly realizing that, that fitting in is not worth the effort. SAdly, my high school and college years were ruled by that desire making it less than thrilling and so tough. I need your thick skin girl!
you’ll get it–thick skin takes a few cuts and bruises to grow.
A freakin men to this post. I wrote about this a bit and am going to share my feelings on it again. I do want to be part of the “in” scene with blogging. Ive never really fit in anywhere in my life (except the soccer field) but I dont think Ill ever fit in here either. Im just different, and Im learning thats ok.
Oh man that is beautiful what you just said, I am the same way. I have felt that ‘in’ feeling and slowly I am learning being myself will draw those to me.
I personally think you gotta do what you gotta do- no point reading blogs if they don’t make you feel good or enhance your life. Like you I’ve stopped even reading certain blogs, especially if their content has stopped interesting me…not saying that it’s bad, but just saying it’s not for me!
I am finally at that point where I realize I can do that, for a while I felt like I should read them or had to. Yuck yuck yuck
I loved this post and it’s definitely something I needed to read. It’s so hard to not compare yourself to other bloggers and enter in this spiral or smaller portions and restriction that frankly is a major issue in the whole “HLB” world. I’ve started unsubscribing to blogs that I have found were influencing my daily choices. I’m choosing to read the blogs that I enjoy rather than read the ones I feel like I should read because they are popular and its the “thing” to do. I’ve never really fit into a certain niche of a blog but I kind of think that’s for the best – I blog for me because it’s something I enjoy and it’s OK if not everyone likes it and that I don’t fit in.
That is such a great mentality right there and I encourage you to keep at it. I realized I was not being true to myself by having this pressure to comment or blog about things I knew I did not believe in or follow. I so appreciate this comment!
LOVE THIS. LOVE YOU
oh boy oh boy you make me smile.
Heh, I don’t think I blog like most of the other bloggers do either. And I would die if I had to take pictures of all the food I eat every day because I eat all. day. long. I think there’s something to be said for not blogging the way that the ‘popular’ bloggers do. Do your own thing, that’s what makes your blog a good one! So keep on keeping on, I love reading your posts every day!
That is really sweet, I tend to do a lot of snacking more than meals just because of my schedule. I am glad you found what works for your body and stay true to that. Thank you for the encouragement!
Hey lady I feel the same way.. That’s why I just write about what I want to write about.. I used to fall into the.. oh shit should I be doing that or eating that.. screw it.. I wanna live my own life. If I want to workout then I will. If I want to eat a cheeseburger oh you better believe I will
That is why I love reading your blog, you have so much balance and just live. I love that about you, a daily inspiration to say the least.
I totally agree.. there is some stress and pressure in the blog world, but the important thing is to just be yourself and write what you would want to read. That’s what I do.. some blogs I read they take pictures of all their meals.. I just wouldn’t be able to do that without feeling trapped behind technology lol
Oh my gosh, you are so spot on in writing this!!!!!!!!! I had to stop reading so many blogs over the past two years because they got “too big” and were hocking too many products…many of which weren’t good. I couldn’t tell what was sincere and what was just a sponsorship/money making scheme. I also hate it when I feel like I am being preached at to live/eat/sleep/run a certain way. We are all different. I eat a lot of good stuff but I also eat a ton of crap. We’re talking lots of Mike and Ike’s and Laffy Taffy-like candy and I would never give it up even though there are so many bloggers out there who would claim I don’t have a healthy lifestyle. Everything in moderation, right? I find that I’m the happiest with that balance. Oh, and it’s why I love your blog
Couldn’t agree more about the moderation. I just hate seeing blogs I did love all of a sudden backsliding for me. Eek I just couldn’t take it. I really adore your blog for all the reasons you said!
Perfectly written girl. LOVE everything about this post. It was such an eye-opener to myself as well. It’s also good to know that I’m not the only person out there who eats whip cream by the spoon. I do every single night, and I’m proud of it!!! I’ll even dip some chocolate chip cookies in it from time to time if I feel like it
. Continue writing about what you want, not what others want you to write about. You are YOU, and no one can take that away from you girl. Never feel like you need to compare yourself, or change your ways to please someone else. You are beautiful just the way you are!!
Ohh & I went to the dentist today.. yup root canal
I guess I wanted to be just like you!! I got 1/2 of the procedure done today.. and will finish it on Saturday. I must have a terrible pain tolerance, because Im in some pain now that all the medicine is wearing off. I may even need a second one, but the doc & I are hoping it can be fixed with a filling.. fingers crossed!!! The only positive thing outta this ((def not the $$$$ were spending)) is I get to drink/eat even more smoothies. If you guessed that I’m on my THIRD one today, you are right!!!
haha, I am seriously so sorry about the root canal. I couldn’t believe it when I heard the news. What a freaking bummer to say the least. Eat lots of frozen yogrt pops – Adonia and Yasso ones are my loves lately. I still can’t chew on it. I am glad you could relate to this post in many ways. Keep up your amazing blogging as well.
girl.. there are no such things as frozen yogurt bars out here!! I know I know, go figure right haha. Boo.. knowing you can’t chew on it makes me scared. I have the best dentist in Kuwait finishing the treatment on saturday, so hopefully i’ll be pain free. I didn’t even get any happy pills, just ibuprofen haha.
I know! I was shocked they gave me no pain pills. Lame. I want to sleep doctor!
Love it! I try not to compare myself to other ‘healthy living’ or running blogs, I just see people for who they are as individuals and enjoy reading about their lives and try not to compare myself to them. I can see how it would be easy to read them all and get sucked into the comparison trap. Social media really is funny that way. Just keep being you and enjoying your life and people will see that and will be inspired by that. I love your blog and I enjoy reading about your new foodie finds. I also think you are a very talented runner and I want to hear more about your running! Keep up the great work, Alex. Keep on rockin’.
Wow you are too sweet. I guess I always feel like I would bore people with my running although it is such a large part of my life and something I truly love to do. I think social media seriously have overshadowed a lot of our everyday just living aspects.
I love this post Alex, you’re such a sweetheart and I wish you all you deserve
If you’re not stopping by my blog anymore I’d definitely miss you though! 
But I think it’s great how you say you need to take some pressure off of blogging. You’re doing such a good job at being YOU – I seriously envy that 
Much love and good luck with everything you do!
Very sweet of you to say, I know it is something I have and will probably always struggle with. The mindfullness part and being aware of what I do is the biggest thing for me.
I can very much relate
It’s tough
Thank you for this post and for staying true to yourself!
Unfortunately, comparison and silent competition between healthy living bloggers is definitely becoming more apparent in this community.
I couldn’t agree more and that makes me oh so sad.
Alex, this post was amazing. I can definitely see how it is easy to start comparing yourself to other blogs … hell I’ve caught myself doing it more times than I would like to admit! I admire your committment to staying true to yourself. xo
Thank you lovely! That means a lot, I know a lot of it has to come down to really being mindful about what I read
I can’t even say how inspirational it is that you laid this out there and are doing what is best for you! You amaze me. I’ve gotten caught in the comparison trap more times than I’d like to admit. It says so much about the person you are that you’re able to recognize what works for you and that you choose to cut things out of your life that are having a negative impact.
It is something I have known about myself for a while, it is still a daily practice I have to remind myself to do.
Oh my gosh! I hope I didn’t make you feel like you should eat Paleo. Gah!!! I’m not even eating that way. I seriously don’t read blogs every day anymore. I know, it’s so awful. But so many of them are triggers. I’d rather be me and do what works for me. that’s when I’m the most successful.
Our stories sound so similar. I don’t talk to anyone I was friends with in college anymore… except the boyfriend. I don’t know I’m always the outsider and struggling to fit in.
I’ll let you in on a secret though… we’re the best ones. We’re the most confident and the most well adjusted.
that’s what my mom tells me
(Girl, I’ll be your bestie!!!)
Aw man Maren you made me grin from ear to ear. I love your realness, your true focus and heck your living life. You approach everything with balance and THAT is what I want to work on. Health issues are health issues, you have it and you have found a way to maintain that balance. That is inspirational!
Besties for sure.
I love your posts because you are so real. The “big bloggers” and other out there that are so surface level and fake… why both reading them? I know what oatmeal for breakfast looks like. I don’t need to see it every day, 3x a day. LOL! Rock on, my friend.
Ha, you are so freaking right. aka why I read your blog, I get daily inspiration to try new things. That is what blog reading is supposed to be about.
I absolutely love this post. I feel like there’s so much pressure in the blog world to fit into a specific niche, even if that means making your blog inauthentic. That’s dumb! The whole point of a blog is to have a place on the Internet where you can spout out YOUR opinions in YOUR voice however YOU want to. Kudos to you for wanting to be an Alex blog, not an HLB. If I had to, I would identify my blog as an HLB just because it fits that category more than others and that’s the community I more or less identify with, but I by no means adhere to the strict (and, in my eyes, often very UNhealthy) HLB I-can-only-eat-gluten-free-fat-free-dairy-free-chemical-free-nut-free-fat-free-carb-free-calorie-free foods. Because that’s clean. *rolls eyes* Obviously this isn’t meant to criticize people who legitimately can’t eat certain foods, but I could really handle a little less pressure to feel like I have to eat a certain way to be “cool.” Man, one of my co-workers brought in a gluten-full-fat-full-processed-sugar-full box of Dunkin Donuts to work this morning because it’s her birthday, and you better believe I had one. And it was awesome. Maybe my blog doesn’t “fit” all the HLB standards, and maybe I’ll never have companies want to use my blog to promote their product, but I’d rather have my blog be me and live a life that is healthy for Bethany than attempt to conform to something that will always make me feel inadequate.
I seriously love this comment. you are spot on with it. I couldn’t agree more, I think the whole part about me blogging was to escape that labeling that society already does. For some reason though I felt more pressure to be in a niche. I am glad you have found your voice and continue to let it thrive.
I know I said I wouldn’t be commenting a lot over the next few days but I had to quickly pop on to say that this post is freaking amazing!! I could go on and on but you pretty much said everything I’ve been thinking about for awhile!!! Love this post, love your blog, and love your attitude!!
I hope you are loving school and I am glad you got something from this post. Like you, I could go on and on about this.
Hi Alex. i just found your blog through my roommate Kailey’s blog and I am so glad I came across it upon this post! Fate I do believe. I have always struggled with finding my place in a crowd or a group. i always feel like the odd little girl out. The person people just look right over. (literally sometimes). i know in my heart that this is actually good, it means I am an individual. But sometimes you just want to fit in. However, I do not want to fit into what healthy living blogs have slowly become (in some cases of course not all!). I just started reading blogs about a year ago but suddenly this summer a lot of postings have begun to bother me and set unhealthy thoughts up into my brain. NOT OK. I too am deleting the unhealthy bad for me blogs. Blogging for me is supposed to be fun and a way to release anxiety or share life triumphs and laughs. And most of all to help people. Bloggers need to realize that they are role models for their readers. In my own little corner of the internet I could possibly help someone who is struggling or just having a bad couple of minutes. Healthy living blogs should be showing people just that… How to live healthfully with no pressure, instead it should be support we offer in the blog world.
Aw I am glad you found my blog, if it is the kailey I think you are talking about then you are sure lucky to have her as a roommate. Very jealous there! Keep up the positive mindset, I too felt like this summer ramped it up and I was hating the trends.
I am thinking it is indeed that very Kailey. Caffeinated runner? I am very lucky she has changed my life for the better and given me that sister relationship I never had. At least trends have to come to an end, maybe all of the blogs that have been posting about the unhealthy healthy will be the new trend and we can move towards healthy and happy and less rigidity.
Wow Alex! This is exactly what I am going to write about in my article I talked about on my blog – i totally agree with you! Sometimes i think, oh that can’t be healthy, but then I think that maybe that is just me. I’m glad to see others feel like I do. I also totally get you about the whole in crowd thing – I never was cool and still don’t have an amazing group of college friends, but hopefully after uni. We’ll see. Also loved your seven facts the other day
Thanks Rebecca that means a lot. I think a lot of people have been thinking the same thing but granted it is a kind of touchy subject. I think my lack of fitting in has left me kind of without that close group of friends just because of lack of confidence. I hope to find that soon.
I think I like you even more after reading this post
I’d so much rather read about people who are genuine than those who are trying to be perfect. But I totally get where you are coming from, being in the ‘in’ crowd. I do get intimidated by other people’s blogs/seriously healthy eating and workouts but then I remember why I blog in the first place. To connect with others in a meaningful way. Like you, I SOO did not find my niche in college. I don’t think I talk to hardly anyone that I met in college on a regular basis (besides my boyfriend). I feel like we were supposed to find the best friends of our entire lives and it just didn’t happen for me. Anway, now I’m rambling but I want you to know that people are listening and care about you!
I think I would be best friends with you in real life. I am inspired by your blog, you are so real and I love that. I read your blog and it is like a breathe of fresh air. So thank you. Ps. can I have some canning recipes, I am dying to do it!
I TOTALLY think we would be friends in real life
Who knows, maybe by the grace of god I’ll finally be able to go to one of these blogging seminars and I can meet you!
BTW, I’m posting a canning recipe for garlic dill pickles soon. I discovered a blog called foodinjars.com that has a ton of good recipes (i got the recipe from her)
I will be scouring that site for new recipes. But garlic dill pickles, drooling. I think we would be great friends, our paths will cross I swear.
LOVE this post, Alex
SOSOSOSOSO many wonderful points, and I agree with them all. Honestly, everything you talk about here does relate to my reasoning to stop blogging…I didn’t have a passion for it anymore because I began to feel myself starting to get caught up in the “in” thing to do, etc, and it wasn’t me, and I didn’t like it.
Thanks for sharing!!!! Hope you’re doing well
I am glad that you have made a decision that works for you. I hate to admit it but I sometimes wonder what it would be like to not blog, totally not even read blogs.
This is all so true. Thank you for being so authentic! I struggle with all of this too– just yesterday, I was super depressed because I kept comparing myself to other people on fb, blogs, etc. I was totally judging how easy some things that I struggle with look for other people and it was making me feel awful about myself…..even though I know blogs and fb are just one side of someone (and usually their best selves). But still, it’s hard not to get cuaght up in it. I’m so glad you post about this stuff!
Aw I am sorry you felt that way. I have to admit though, I have done the same way too often. Especially this summer. Take that challenge with me to really be mindful of what you read. No way I want to practice or preach unhealthy habits.
Great post girl! I actually have a funny way of just not being able to get into blogs that make me feel icky. If a blog starts going south (with restrictive eating or working out too much or I just stop liking it), then I just get really turned off and naturally just stop checking it. I have blogs on my reader that I don’t read or comment on and just skip over. I’m glad that you were able to cut it down for your own mental health! I was very similar to you – drama crowd and stuff in middle school, had converse back then, and then for some of college I felt really out of place. Luckily I found my groove on the rugby team! Or else I’d be lost.
The rugby team sounds awesome for you, I am glad you have that. I think I just need to be more mindful about which ones I am reading and getting sucked into. Today I did much better.
Yay! Little steps make big changes
Love this post! I remember awhile back, I ditched my BodyPump classes for heavy free weights because so many bloggers/fitness forums preached that as the only way to strength train. I’ve since stopped listening to what everyone else says and I now eat and work out in a way that makes me happy. Still, it’s definitely easy to get caught up in certain fitness/diet trends – clean eating, Paleo diet, Cross Fit, etc. At the end of the day though, I just tell myself if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it – if what you’re doing works for you, keep doing it and don’t worry about what everyone else does… same goes for your blogging style – you have a good thing going with your blog so just keep it up and don’t worry about fitting a certain mold (in fact, it’s way better to have your own distinctive voice than to mimic everyone else)
I can so relate to that. I always feel guilty for gasp just running. Wait, that is what works for me and heck I love it. I can’t afford gym classes. I am glad you found what works for you. I love your blog for that reason, it is you all around.
I really don’t think I need to say how much I love this based on our emails but wow you took the words right out of my mouth! I will admit that for a few days I felt guilty about some of the foods I eat on a daily basis. WHY!? oh wait, because this blogger told me it will kill me. You know what works for YOU and your lifestyle. No one else has the right to pass judgement on your eating habits. Eat what you enjoy – no explanations needed
PS – I will have to try jellybeans in the freezer now! Never thought to do that!
DO IT PLEASE. I have an obsession with putting them in the freezer along with a lot of other gummy candy. Whoever said that stinks, no shame that I eat things that people say are not clean every single freaking day. People frustrate me sometimes…
Hello my dear! I am sorry I am late to this post… I read it the other day and then never got the chance to comment, but obviously I enjoyed reading it and was nodding my head to so much of it! I had a very similar experience in college… expecting it to be the greatest place ever and find the same group of life long friends that I had in high school. Yeahhhh that never happened. I would say my first semester of sophomore year was awesome, actually that whole year was, because I was on the cross country team and was friends with all of those ladies. But then that summer the ED took hold, a tight hold, and I withdrew and when I did to xc the next year, I kept pulling away and then lost all of those “friends” I had. Although they really were not friends at all as I have never heard from anyone since!
Anyway, I feel ya on the blog world and being told what to do and all of that. I am right there with you and hence why I have been preaching about HLS the last few days.. it goes right along with my thoughts on this. We need to do what works for us, plain and simple, and stop trying to fit into another mold.
I am glad you can relate, I always agree with so much of what you talk about and I love your approach. I see you as so balanced now, and keep attempting to strike that balance. You are an inspiration, why I love and go back to your blog each day.
Pretty much the best post ever.
Ha! You are way too sweet.
Pingback: On The Outside Looking In | Mouthwatering Morsel