Whacked Out

How could I go without my beloved Trade em up post? Today is Wednesday – don’t be fooled. And don’t think I have lost it either.

I would trade…for today’s date of August 1st to be August 8th so that the countdown of 8 days till I go home is a countdown of 1 day. Countdowns keep me sane. Can you tell I am just a tad excited? Bring on FAMILY, friends,  lots of delicious fruit. Wait, how the heck am I supposed to cram that all in four days? No way.

I would trade…a snappy remark from a lady on the metro for some manners. I couldn’t believe it. I was sitting down and the older lady walked on the packed train. I tapped her on the shoulder and asked her if she would like my seat. Her response was mouthing off at me, telling me no she didn’t need my seat and muttering under her breath. Seriously? I was already feeling super sick last night so the last thing I needed was that. What a downer. 

I would trade…the less than stellar AC window unit in my apartment for some central air. Complaining I know, but I haven’t been using AC at all, which for DC is a big deal. The thing is just so dang loud and doesn’t even work that well. I seriously just sweat at night. I need a new system. I may invest in some fans.

I would trade… having no tv shows I follow for something to look forward to during the week. I used to be that person that had at least one show I had to watch. Since moving and not having tv time at my last place, I have no idea what is even on tv. Tv, while not a necessity, does help me unwind more than a computer does. I need that veg out zone out time and I haven’t had it. (Probably not helping  my skyrocketing anxiety lately..) Any suggestions of summer time shows I can at least join in on?

I would trade…my all of sudden increased hunger for some normal satisfaction. Lately, I don’t know what hit me, but I just feel more hungry. Like nothing sounds good, or is filling me up, or random cravings. But it also means I need to start getting more creative!Lately, I have had a craving for who knows what. Do you know that feeling? Where you have a craving but not sure what for. Sucks. I hate feeling unsatisfied. The other problem I am having is how much food to buy each week. I feel like I never buy enough but at the same time I have no idea how much to buy. 

I would trade… my mentor recruitment stress for my perfectionist self to chill out. I told you all as one aspect of my job I need to recruit over 90 mentors for this upcoming school year before the third week in September. Well, I have been working hard but not quite getting a large response for all the avenues I have been going. Roughly, we have a little over 30. My manager actually told me at our meeting yesterday that I had to take a day off from ‘mentor recruitment’ because he could see I was getting anxious about it. And he said there was no reason to be, I was way ahead of the game. Oh, learning my personality at its finest.

I would trade… the fact I paid 1.30 for a diet coke just because I really needed a cup of ice for my iced coffee AND them telling me I can’t have a cup of ice for ACTUALLY GETTING A FREAKING CUP OF ICE. Oh that really ticked me off. All I wanted was not the soda, not the wait in line, not the sketchy walk to the 7/11… I wanted the ice. I got none.

I would trade… basically my right arm for an edible arrangement. I think it is the time of year, but all I want is fresh fruit. Sadly, I buy and consume next to none because of how pricey it is. I never took advantage of all the fruit I used to get. Oh wait, I did. At school I would seriously hoard the apples and pears they kept out at the dining hall. A girl has to have her fruit!

I would trade… my lack of self compassion for some loving. I am so hard on myself and this week it is rearing its ugly head. I just have so much trouble actually feeling proud or being satisfied with myself. It is not a good feeling nor is it something I want to feel. This is what I constantly feel like I have to work on. 

It is so funny because while I do have some little life complaints (oh poor girl without AC and craving things…) I have been on this upswing of a great mood. My focus has shifted to more of ‘getting through the moment’ to ‘making progress’. I know that sounds like a strange shift but for me it shows that I am trying to wrap my head around this place being my home. For a while, I was getting through the days having to use all my effort to get through. Now, I realize there are things I want and need to address AND I finally have the capacity to do just that. Progress I tell you.

Questions: What would you trade up this Wednesday? What satisfies your craving lately?

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