It's Been a Ride

Whoa. This week has been crazy work wise. I have had to go in early, stay later and basically get zero time to actually sit and breathe. I am so grateful for my morning runs because they are the only thing that really get me geared up and going. That being said, it has been a rough week. I haven’t had that hour in the morning to blog and drink coffee, rather I am running out the door. At night, I get in around 730 pm starving. Just long. Packing luckily is done but let’s just say, Friday can’t come sooner. I have so much I want/need to do in my new apartment it is unreal. I am actually getting quite sad though that I have to move in alone.

I swear I will be back on schedule with blogging come Friday but today I have something special to share. Jenna is a family friend I have talked about before, the one who I lost touch with due to my disorder and just in the past few months have worked hard to rekindle. For some reason, she was the one friend I told about my blog. I let a few others know but none actually read it. She did and still does mean the world to me. I wanted to share her amazing awareness with you all!

Hey guys! My name is Jenna and I just started a blog called One Day at a Time.  Alex has graciously allowed me to guest post on her blog and I couldn’t be more excited. I have been following The Run Within for a while and her posts never cease to inspire me and make me chuckle.  Fun fact? I have known Alex since, well, forever! She has mentioned it before but we are godsisters (whether that actually exists or not is up for debate, but in my family it flies). Our families have been friends for a few generations, and I expect that tradition will continue in the future.

Anyways, I started my blog for a variety of reasons.  I have always had body image issues and I have never seen myself as beautiful.  Well, I am determined to change that, but before I can change who I am on the outside, I have to change myself on the inside. I have the attitude that everything will happen overnight.  I know it will take work and dedication, but I am impatient and expect immediate results. Well, thankfully that mindset is beginning to change.  I know working out isn’t going to cut it.  I’ve had a gym membership since high school.  It has never been a lifestyle, though.  When life gets busy, I revert back to my old, unhealthy ways.  I am now learning the paths I need to take to truly become the person I want to be.

My lowest point was definitely high school.  I don’t think high school is a breeze for anyone, but I had horrible body image issues and I was simply an unhappy kid.  I was never teased or bullied, thankfully, but I went to an all-girls high school and the peer pressure and the ideas of what society thinks is beautiful ran ramped.  I felt so out of place.

Everything changed when I went to college.  I am currently entering my senior year at Saint Michael’s College in Colchester, VT and it is my second home.  I have never been more happy in my life.  SMC is truly a family, and although I knew it already, it was proven when tragedy struck campus spring of my sophomore year.  A freshman boy took his own life in his dorm room one night, an unbelievable event at what seemed to be the happiest place on earth. Maybe that a bit of an overstatement. I definitely had my struggles in college, whether it was struggling balancing classes, work, and my social life, but I managed and I was still happy.  When that horrible event happened, though, I saw campus band together as a unit of support for those closest to the victim.

So where am I going with this. Cut to the chase Jenna! Well Saint Mikes truly is my family and my comfort zone.  I didn’t realize how much I took it for granted until I went abroad last spring to Bath, England.  This experience was both the best and worst experience of my life.  Lets start with the good first: I took classes with Oxford professors, I traveled to Wales, France, Spain, and within England, I met some amazing people and got to do some really amazing things.  The bad: I lived in a very high stress environment.  My house consisted of 8 girls sharing a not so big living space.  6 of us girls got really close and did everything together, until there was a divide forming around March.  Some of the girls were obsessive about what they were eating and how much they were exercising.  Do not get me wrong: I do not blame them for working out or eating healthy at all, after all that is what everyone is supposed to do! But it got to a point where they were counting calories at dinner, chatting about how fat they were (these girls were seriously delusional…they were gorgeous and not even close to being “fat”) and I felt so uncomfortable.  I was clearly heavier than they were and if they thought they were overweight I must have been an elephant in comparison.  I have never felt more uncomfortable with my body than I was then.  When I came home in May I knew something had to change.  By the end, I did a complete 180.  Before, we would all have dinner together, do work together, go out on the weekends together, travel together, etc.  By the end I had completely separated myself to avoid being judged for choosing to drink beer rather than gin&tonics (the “skinny girl” drink).

my housemates and I in England

I have never missed SMC and my comfort/support system more in my life.

I’m not doing this transformation for anyone but myself.  I don’t want to be “skinny” or perfect.  I just want to be healthy and happy within myself.

Thanks for listening to me ramble and I really would love it if you would check out my new blog.  I am a “newbie” to blogging and I could use all the tips and support I can get. And thanks so much to Alex for having me guest post!

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