Long overdue for sure but I like the idea of spreading some sunshine. Something I want to remind myself is that with every storm there is sun somewhere in the future. Just like my favorite quote, it is not about those rain clouds and lightening that strike you down but it is what you learn during that storm. For me, I learn about myself but also tools to use for the next storm that may come rolling through. Change can be ignited at any time and it is not always that straight path I know I wish existed.
The theme of our work training (yes there was a theme, I told you this is one unique organization) was change. I mean how perfect for me? In regards to BUILD, it was about how we can keep learning and growing both internally and externally, in how we impact and help the students and overall how to improve the organization mission of college success. Personally, I am seeking change in my outlook. My thoughts are still rigid and actions still mechanical. I seek change in how I view my body, emotions and food. I seek change in how I further dive into recovery. I would be at fault to think recovery was a checklist. Recovery is all about change and rolling with the punches in life. It really never ends because no matter what we can always grow. I am at that point where I finally realize I need more growing in certain aspects and the status quo will no longer be enough.
Something that hit home happened this morning at Bikram. During the tree pose, we take the second round of it to actually sit down on one leg, with one leg in a half indian pose while trying to balance with our hands in prayer. Boy it is a doozy. Normally I just stay standing but for some reason I had this urge to try it. So I did, I was able to crouch down and have my hands on both sides of me. No one else in the class was doing it so I was just kind of trying to find my own strength as I had my hands by my side on the floor. Then the instructor came over to me and said ‘let go’. I smiled knowing taking my hands up would make me fall. But he insisted, ‘if you never try and fail, then there is no growth – trying and falling is the beautiful part, if you never let go you will never know.’ Guess what, I let go, I balanced, I felt strong. I found myself in the mirror smiled and held still with my chest forward. Boo ya. The girl who constantly needs to remind herself to let go did it and found not fear but growth.
And those reminders we all need:
- Change takes time.
- Change takes patience.
- Change is not a straight line.
- Change can be uncomfortable.
- Change can be anxiety provoking.
- Change will not always feel good in the beginning.
- Change requires support.
- Change is possible.
Got to say, I was floored to be nominated by the lovely Laurie at Love, Laugh, Laurie. I love finding new blogs and she is one of those I just recently started following daily. Reading these questions over, I realized I already did an award like this so I am adding a little spin to each question to cater towards what I did today. So these answers may not necessarily be my favorite of all time but little bits into my day.
This prize is awarded to “bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”. As an award winner, there are a few rules to follow:
- Thank the person who gave this award and write a post about it.
- Answer the questions below.
- Pass on the award to 10 fabulous bloggers, link their blogs, and let them know you awarded them.
Here goes nothing…
- Favorite color: This morning during my whole run, the skies had this blueish gray color. I had just missed the downpour at 630 am so when I headed out at 7 am there were only these grayish skies. Slowly towards the end of the 10 miles, the bluish color began to return. Not going to lie, I actually had to set an alarm this morning to wake up early. I knew I wanted to get my body back adjusted to the east coast time so I wanted to make sure I woke up rather than sleep the morning away. I swear, I could have kept sleeping for a lot longer. A red eye flight two nights ago meant no sleep so I had a night of sleep to catch up on. Nine hours was no where near enough.
- Favorite animal: Looking at my twitter feed and seeing Kaitlin’s new puppy this morning made me miss my dog’s puppy years. It made me miss my dog in general. Man, I am such a animal person and I do miss having something soft to touch and a friendly face to talk to who won’t judge you.
- Favorite number: Let’s go with least favorite. So in my multiple apartment searches, I have been calling a bunch of places in the area I want to live in. I have been basically laughed at by each place when I saw my price range. The average studio price (besides a few gems I have found) run at 1400 a month. Holy shiz balls, that is way over my budget. You will be finding me in a box soon.
- Favorite drink: For some reason I actually had the urge to go out to drinks with a friend from school tonight. Guess what? The metro is having serious delays due to a computer problem and hasn’t been running. That means traveling tonight to her is another no-go. Sad. I couldn’t even get to the farmer’s market today because of the metro. It ended in walking two miles to find a bank that was closed and then having to trek back another two to a liquor store in an attempt to cash said check. I felt so lame walking into a liquor store asking to cash to the check without buying alcohol and in the end they wouldn’t even cash personal checks. Double fail.
- Facebook or twitter: I saw the Twitter exchange between Tessa and Kate about Wawa ice cream. I have never had it before but it did remind me I have these lovely gift cards for Adonia frozen yogurt that I won in a giveaway but haven’t used. I decided to walk to a Whole Foods ( a little over 1.5 miles) to find out they didn’t carry it. Come on! Now I am craving frozen yogurt and have none. Throw me a bone!
- What is your passion? Right now, my passion is to practice self care tonight and make it better. That means I will be TAKING action instead of just placing intentions. No more excuses.
- Giving or Getting presents: A little secret, my dad comes on Wednesday night (wish my mom was coming but she has to work) and I have already made a list of what I need. Sounds terrible but it is nice to not have to pay for groceries for next week so I have made an epic list of things to stock up on. Some I would never buy for myself (Whole Food deliciousness) and some I just have run out of (coffee IV please?). Presents getting next week for sure.
- Favorite day of the week: I am excited for my dad to come next week. Not only will I be able to spend maybe a night or two in his hotel when I’m not working, but just having someone help me in person with the apartment search will feel so good. He is the king of bargaining and knowing what the real deal is. I need that right now badly.
- Favorite flower: Just because it looks like a blooming flower (work with me here!), broccoli. So I haven’t had broccoli since I have moved into the apartment. Why? Because it is one of the smelliest vegetables to cook so to spare my roommate I have not bought it. Since she is away this weekend, I stocked up. Sad seriously sad that this is what I have to do. But yummy, roasted broccoli last night hit the spot.
The nominations are… any of you bloggers out there that need a little sun in your day. I know in DC, we have some rain clouds on and off so take advantage of this little sunshine ray. We all need a little light in those dark spots!
Ps. I know I talked about doing another recipe link up. Well I am doing it! On July 28th (Saturday), I will be doing a recipe link up so please send me the recipe and picture of you or the product you wish to share. The theme is…. dun dun dun SNACKS. I am always looking for some delicious snacks that are both easy, convenient and of course tasty. I know bloggers have been so creative lately so while the recipes won’t be lengthy, I promise you they will be good. Please spread the word and send all recipes to email@example.com by the 27th of July at 4 pm. DO IT!