BUILD-ing Me

The lack of internet and cable in the apartment is throwing my week plans for a loop. I may have to go into work now Thursday and Friday, kind of shooting that alone time in the foot. That being said, posting and commenting may be a little later than normal. BUT today I did some amazing thinking. I heard some great advice and I realized a hell of a lot. 

Where to begin? Do you where I was last fourth, I was just fresh out of inpatient. I can’t believe I forgot this. I was miserable because I had to be around all these people in my hometown that only knew the old Alex. I refused to wear shorts, I wasn’t able to run yet and the day at the beach was spent sweating in a tank top and capris. Whoa how far I have come. That my friends, is progress. I don’t want to go back to feeling like that. Yes, I had come out of a place of a recovery but I was still flirting with that idea of how to adapt to life once again. Now… I have the skills to live life, enjoy life and most certainly the power to laugh. In that comes self compassion. I realized there are so many things I would rather sacrifice than my health, than my happiness, than my sanity. Today, I thought a lot. I spent most of the day alone, walking around in attempts to find internet (most Starbucks were closed), and making lists. (compulsive list maker but hey, it gets the job done). California is just a few days away. I am taking California as a time of much needed  self reflection. I know I will be training a lot but each  night I will be writing, writing about what will be different when I get back and what needs to be done so that it freaking happens. Guys, I feel so good about this.

I have been getting a lot of questions about my job so I am hoping to try and answer a few in this next part. I know I haven’t really talked about it a lot. Kind of funny because I spend a lot more time there than I ever thought I would. The hours we pull now are nothing compared to what I will be pulling come July. This girl gets seriously busy. 

But can I tell you a secret? I am loving it. Yes, it may right now be quite an office type job but I already know that will quickly change and has been changing. Most of all, I have found this inner passion and small lessons about myself in the last three weeks.

1. I have an amazing power to communicate with all people. I volunteered to go to a recruitment event where we were hoping to get some partnerships. My boss was there and it was just the two of us. She let me kind of do the talking and at the end she told me I had a great knack for it. Why thank you! It is true, I can talk someone’s ear off and seem as confident as ever when it comes to helping others. I have a natural flow of conversation that draws people in. This I am just coming to realize.
2. I take my job by the horns and am not afraid to jump in. I think they were nervous about me finding a flow right off the bat. I mean it is no joke when I say it is ME recruiting over 90 mentors in the next two months. It is me planning the open houses for them, the brown bag lunches, the presentations at big companies for this recruitment. It is me doing all the phone interviews. Sound like a lot? Well, I jumped in. No hand holding, something I thought I wanted at the start. I already have five interviews planned this week. They didn’t tell me I needed to do them yet but hey, I had the people, I had the time. My boss gave me a high five after I successfully recruited my first one, he was kind of amazed I already did it. That felt good. 
3. When I say I will do it, I will do it. I read in the binder that this job moves at a fast pace. No joke at all. However, when someone asks me do something I do it straight away no matter how big or small. I keep getting those looks ‘you already did that’ or ‘thanks for being so prompt’.
4. Professionalism in emailing and writing is a top priority for me. I know here I am all slangy and grammar mistake heavy. When I am at work, I use all those skills my mom jammed in my head to be as professional as possible. I actually had a big company’s manager email me saying he was shocked I was only 22, he thought I was over 30 by the way I wrote. Thank you Mr.
5. My work is a family. This is comforting for me. My boss truly cares about my sanity and not overworking me. We have fun conversations in the office and they go out of the way to make sure everyone feels welcomed. Three people have left our office so we right now only have six there total. Tiny but personal. The humor flies above and beyond so I actually have started to come out of my shell, letting the sarcastic Alex start to show. The girl who has never been to a bar was told by her boss that a bar hang out was coming up after California. I mean how cool is that? They get it, I am new to the area, new to the job – yet I already feel like I am part of it.
6. People in this field have a passion for what they do. I got to listen in on a conversation with all the program managers at the five sites (California – 3 sites, one in Boston, one in DC). You don’t understand the amount of work they put into this. BUILD has come a long way since its launch in 1999, I mean DC just started in 2008 and we are growing more and more each year. That takes a group of passionate individuals. I am thrilled to be one of them.
7. This doesn’t have to be my future. I think I had this massive fear that I was screwing my future for taking this job. So wrong. Everyone in the office has only been with BUILD for 1.5 years tops. That is nothing, non profits have very quick turnover. This job is going to help me realize what I want to do by allowing me to find where my strengths are. College taught me a lot about myself but not really about the real world. This has a nice combination of both. Who knows, I could stay at BUILD past my year long contract, or I could move on to other things. I am riding that wave and enjoying the journey.

Overall, I feel blessed to even have a job. Ya, I may not be making the big bucks but I have time. Lots of time. Racing through life rather than living it is something I don’t want to feel I got sucked into. 

Questions: Any questions about my job I can answer? What has your job taught you or made you realize about yourself? 

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