Head Case

I can’t seem to gain focus today. I wanted to write a pretty wordy post but in the end nothing is coming together. Randoms seem so much more genuine right now.

1. Babysitting last night was ideal. I met the 5 year old girl at 6:30. We walked, hung out, she talked my ear off, watched some Turtle Tale’s. Her mom was back by 9:30. Normally, I don’t mind the late nights where they come back at midnight but yesterday had been long and I wanted my bed. I had no idea the parents would get back so early.. best surprise ever. Plus, this girl was adorable. She really just wanted to chat and hang out, nothing special.
2. This morning was even more glorious. I got to do a long run with one of my closest friends here. We literally talk the whole time, it is not like I don’t spend time with her during the week it is just we have so much in common and to share. I feel like each long run we go on together I get to learn more and more about her. Who knew we were both dance snobs, have super conservative relatives and love active old people? (yes our conversations are all over the place!) 
3. Alumni weekend is in full swing here. This means drunk alumni by 12 in the afternoon, alcohol served at breakfast, parties throughout the day and night, money being thrown out like candy and a packed campus. Debbie downer alert, I hate alumni weekend. Maybe it is just because our small campus seems so stuffed, or the alumni that return are all extremely wealthy or the school caters just to them and forget about students (the dining hall has been closed at random periods meaning I didn’t get one real meal yesterday, I was pissed)… who knows. 
4. This morning I read Haley’s post My Turning Point and emotion just hit. My comment was lengthly not even realizing how much I got out of her beautiful post. Turning points in Ed recovery are necessary and what stick with you. Sometimes it is more than one realization, others times it is that one remarkable moment. I was just rushed back to all those little moments that added up to the larger moment making me realize recovery was what I wanted in life. It was a good rush of emotion, a grateful rush of emotion.
5. People think I am crazy that I am already packing my room up but I am anxious!!! I graduate in 12 freaking days and am trying to stay calm. Organizing is the best anxiety medication ever.
6. I have been doing a bit more community service this term over and above my 15+ hours I had been doing the past semesters. It is starting to hit that this community that has housed me for four years is no longer going to be my home. Today, I am working at the food pantry organizing donations for a few hours. Drunk fake beach frat party or community service? Tough choice…
7. My life motto… but really. 

Ramble ramble ramble. I’ll work on that. Have a wonderful Saturday!

Questions: What is your favorite part of babysitting? What makes you feel like a debbie downer? What do you do when you are really anxious? 

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